{"id":1419,"date":"2025-12-02T15:57:58","date_gmt":"2025-12-02T14:57:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/griefhouse.community\/?p=1419"},"modified":"2025-12-13T19:56:05","modified_gmt":"2025-12-13T18:56:05","slug":"zalolimpiada-czyli-dlaczego-nie-porownujemy-strat","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/griefhouse.community\/en\/zalolimpiada-czyli-dlaczego-nie-porownujemy-strat\/","title":{"rendered":"Grief Olympics \u2013 why we don\u2019t compare losses"},"content":{"rendered":"

Why is it not worth comparing yourself to others?<\/strong><\/h2><\/div>\n\n\n\n

First of all, because it makes absolutely no sense.<\/strong> Imagine we\u2019re all competing at one big Olympics \u2013 the Grief Olympics \ud83d\ude09. Only here the rules are totally different than in sport:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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  1. Grief doesn\u2019t play fair. It can hit you hard at the least expected moment, in the break between rounds. For example: you just want to use the bathroom, you look in the mirror\u2026 and suddenly you\u2019re in tears.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  2. Nobody is racing against the clock, but fans think the players only have six months, a year at most.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  3. Apparently there is a finish line somewhere, but not sure if anyone has seen it.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  4. Instead of one track with lanes, everyone has their own private lane heading in a different direction. To make things worse, some are longer, some are shorter.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  5. You train to run hurdles, but when you arrive at the venue, they put you in a swimming costume and you compete in synchronised swimming, even though your \u201epersonal best\u201d is 2 pools of frog.<\/li>\n\n\n\n
  6. You do start in the hurdles, just as planned \u2013 but the friend you\u2019re supposedly \u201ccompeting\u201d with is playing table tennis. There\u2019s simply no way to compare your results.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    That\u2019s why entering the Grief Olympics doesn\u2019t make sense. Or maybe it does \u2013 but only if you stop staring at the finish line and start looking at the path. Your path, the one you have to walk to somehow find yourself in life after losing someone you love. It\u2019s worth noticing others on their own tracks. Remembering that they\u2019re also struggling. Cheering each other on. Reaching out a hand when, for a moment, our lanes run side by side.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n
    <\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

    Why do we do this at all?<\/strong><\/h2><\/div>\n\n\n\n

    We like to compare ourselves to others because there is always someone who has it \u201cbetter\u201d or \u201cworse\u201d than we do. By comparing, we try to soothe our mind: \u201cI\u2019m not alone in this.\u201d The trouble starts when we feel we have to decide who gets the podium \u2013 because everyone secretly wants first place. That\u2019s human. For each person, their loss is the biggest and the hardest. You can\u2019t borrow someone else\u2019s bond or relationship. You can\u2019t love a person with someone else\u2019s love.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    It helps to realise that, at the finish line, everyone gets to stand on the podium and receive the one prize that is truly worth all this effort: themselves.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \n
    \n

    If you\u2019d like to talk about grief in a safe, kind atmosphere, you\u2019re welcome to join the meetings of Grief House Warsaw (Grief House Warsaw<\/strong>) \u2013 a community-based space for grief support. You can find current dates in our calendar.<\/strong> <\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

    \n
    \n
    Events Calendar<\/div><\/a><\/div><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n
    \"\"<\/figure><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Dlaczego nie warto si\u0119 por\u00f3wnywa\u0107? Po pierwsze, bo to zupe\u0142nie bez sensu. Wyobra\u017amy sobie, \u017ce zmagamy si\u0119 na jednej olimpiadzie […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1428,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1419","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-zycie-z-zaloba"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t